News

April 11th 1999

With the recent events in Yugoslavia and the fact that a U.S. General has stated that the U.S. would not be able to fight to wars at once, we believe this is as good a time as any to begin planning a long and sustained attack against the worlds top country.  The N.C.B. and Russia have begun meetings discussing this attack, and when it will happen.  The top secret N.C.B/Russo weapons delivery system is being tested and will be ready for use in the near future.  The name of it has been decided as "Ol' Fruity Brains McGee".  This weapons delivery system compared to Octo-Hovercoats and even The National Certification Board's Sandblasted Pebbles is the equivalent of comparing a stick of candy to "Too Tarts".   That is all for now.

March 23rd 1999

The National Certification Board and Russia are getting closer and closer to producing our first new prototype weapons delivery system.   Soon after this we can begin testing.  We have already constructed a test city complete with fake test humans, and pets.  This will be the first test on earth where a whole city has been constructed for the test of weaponry.  The city is named "The NCB-Russia Test City".

 

March 16th 1999

The National Certification Board and Russia have began developing a new being.  This is a hybrid being that will be more intelligent than humans.  We are doing this using special modified bolts and wing nuts.   These are professionally modified in a lab which is static free.  There will be information on this and out new weapons delivery system coming soon.

March 9th 1999

It is official,  The National Certification Board and Russia will work together on a new weapon and weapons delivery system.  The weapon will consist of new microchip technology that works on the basis of sub water temperatures exposing slowed down Russian light to the ground.  This project's team will consist of Russian and National Certification Board professionals as well as the physicist cyborg Einsteineykins.

March 7th 1999

It was announced earlier today that The National Certification Board and Russia have joined forces.  This is an asset to both camps, due to the fact that the Russian Octo-Hovercoat technology is far superior to the rest of the worlds at this time, and The National Certification Board's Sandblasted Pebbles, which have been programmed by professionals, are the most lethal weapon delivery systems known to mankind.  This alliance will prove a long lasting and beneficial one.